OTR/L Acute Care OT

Simple question

2011-12-26T21:07:00.001-05:00

Most of my patients come and go in 2-3 days... and honestly they are in so much pain those couple days that actual conversation is limited... but occasionally someone stays for a whole week and I have a chance for a real conversation with a patient. It was that time in the morning when it is just me, the rehab aide and a patient. No pressure. No patients rolling in. No one with Alzheimer's asking to use the phone. No patient with cognitive disability asking to have the candy cane pen. Basically no distractions. A lull. This patient had one question, "How much schooling did you have to do this job?" Usually, I go with the simple answer, "Two years." But this day I just kept going, "Two years, a master's program, after four years of undergrad... and I took a 10 year break between the two." Of course that invited, "What did you do before this?" I found myself telling her. I don't tell many people anymore... and as I talked I could hear the aide commenting, "That's so cool, Kara. I never knew." My patient summed up my life so far very quickly... "You should write a book. I bet you have so much to say with such an interesting life. You are never going to find someone to marry. Who could possible match you after the life you have led?" No lie... she said it just like that with hardly any pause between the sentences. I laughed really hard. It was just the way she said it... so sincere, so quirky and like every good joke almost too much truth. My response came quickly, surprising me. "I am pretty blessed to be 34 and had two careers that fit me so well." That truly is amazing! Then another patient rolled in and our quiet, quirky, enlightening interlude was over. As I watched her struggle to take off her socks I was in shock. In a week I would forget this woman's name and yet her simple question gave me a bit of insight into my life that I had been missing. I have often felt blessed in my second career... but it has been many years since I have felt anything remotely close to blessing from my first career.

Worst. Week. Ever.

2011-12-23T21:05:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I have had a straight up bad week. I mean there have been the PMS weeks and finals weeks and mad-at-the-world weeks... but this was a really bad week. The kind country and blues songs are made of. I thought maybe I was just grumpy... but then I exploded at the dog and started uncontrollably crying. It was a legitimate explosion... dog has been puking for 4 days and has now transitioned into diarrhea and she jumped up and pulled down cheese that was half way back on the counter. I screamed "NO" in the way the kid on The Christmas Story yells "FUDGE". I completely scared the dog... and as I ran 25 feet to the kitchen I boiled over. I actually said, "Seriously!!! You have been sick for four days!!! AND now you want cheese! Seriously!!!" By the time I had gotten to "days" tears were streaming down my face and by the time I was back to the couch (cheese safely away from dog) I was in gut-wrenching-uncontrollable sobbing. No lie. I started work on a Tuesday this week after a four day weekend.. so that seems like a good start right? But Tuesday and Wednesday at work both OT rehab aides called off. just like secretarys run the world... so rehab aids run the hospital... for two days I was lost while the dog I was watching was puking at home. Then Thursday I took some sort of stupid pill... I couldn't put two words together that made sense... and I cried for the first time about the dog. Then Friday... computers down and I killed a 97 year old lady. I have rehashed it several times with different people... I treated her like all my other patients... she needed to use the toilet... we tried to stand up... that was all... and 15 minutes later she was having a heart attack. I have literally done this hundreds of times with hundreds of patients... and this one has a heart attack. good news... puking diarrhea dog is playing fetch... huge step on the road to recovery. Officially I am rambling and I have considered deleting this post eight times. But as this is the worst week ever... then having the worst post ever... just fits the theme. Duck is better than rabbit... always.

Worth

2011-09-26T21:44:00.000-04:00

At least once a week a patient verbalizes a belief about their worth. It is usually, "I am not worth anything... anymore" This makes me incredibly angry!!! Angry at America who sees age as a weakness. Angry at health care workers who give the impression that a patient is merely a cog in the machine of hospital. Angry at myself for not knowing how to respond. Angry at decay and death, which I don't believe is what God originally intended for this world. Angry that a patient's body is giving out on them. Angry... and sad... that a person expressing their felt worthlessness to a perfect stranger probably means that they have fought all their life against feeling worthless. Looking for worth in their body has failed. Looking for worth in their career has retired. Looking for worth in their relationships has died. Looking for worth in their money has been paid out in hospital bills. Looking for worth in their ability and energy has laid down and said, "I am too tired to get up right now." There I am, 84 and laying in a hospital bed... gorgeous white hair just like my grandma... will I have a sense of worth? Will I feel the need to tell the first kind person I see that I am worthless? If 50 year younger me walks into the room what would I say to my older self?

A lifetime in 15 minutes

2011-09-22T21:31:00.001-04:00

Time stood still for me today. No lie! I walked into a patient's room and time stopped! There he was... an adorable old man who wears his shoes every time he walks "because they give me good stability". I asked all the usual questions: Are you in pain? Have you fallen recently? May I test your arm strength? But the answers I received were brilliant. "Maybe a little bit... in my buttocks" "Well yes... but my family never lets me walk anywhere without one of them in front of me and one of them behind me. So my son-in-law saw me starting to fall and he just grabbed me and lowered me to the ground" "My right hand is weak because I fell out of an airplane... it's okay... it was still on the ground" Minutes turned into years and before I knew it we were bearing our hearts to each other. He told me about living with his daughter and feeling like he is robbing her of her life. And I started to cry. (Work cry of course.... eyes filled with tears but no spillage... but I could have wept right there) And suddenly he was my own dad... needing a bit of help to get in and out of bed and having a nurse come to the house 3 times a week to bath him. Behind his statement I heard the "I am old and not worth much anymore... definitely not worth the time of someone young with so much life left to live." So I let him have it... I told him he was worth every damn minute of her life and mine too... of course it was tempered a bit differently but I think he heard my heart. I am pretty sure he started to cry (War veteran's cry of course... reddening of the eyes but no spillage) I also heard him say "they just don't listen to me." Now as I am sitting at home... years older from my 15 minute encounter with a beautiful life... I wonder about the line between care and respect. Do we children care so much that we forget to listen to the simplest request? "Go out with your friends, I will be ok here for 2 hours." Do we begin to hover to the point of debilitating our loved ones? "Seriously kid, I can put on my own shoes... not the way I used to... but necessity gives birth to invention." As I left my friend he told me to keep on smiling and I threw him my best EVER smile! He chuckled and I felt like I could conquer the world.

Sad Day

2011-09-20T17:31:00.000-04:00

It was a sad day to be an acute care occupational therapist. An elderly couple admitted because the EMT found their house in disarray and the husband threatened to shoot himself and his wife. Their family did not know... and my heart breaks. She told me that she "has a soft spot for that guy" Then the guy who has been in the hospital for over 6 weeks. When I first saw him he had no problem putting on his socks... today I had to do it for him. What do I do with days like this?

15 minutes of sunshine

2011-09-19T22:06:00.001-04:00

"Thank you for being cheerful." This is how my day ended at work. In acute care I am in and out of patient's rooms so fast... 15-20 minutes... out of bed, put the socks on, walk to the bathroom, use the toilet, wash the hands, brush the teeth and the hair and then back to bed or a chair. So many times the experience of patients in a hospital are long grey days: all blending. Together with equally grey people: pushing, pulling dour-faced. Mixed with the fog of pain, pain killers, sickness and disease. I find joy in being 15 minutes of sunshine in someone's grey hospital stay.

I'm Back!

2011-09-15T22:35:00.000-04:00

SO it has been over a year since I have come back from Africa and I just wanted to let you know I am going to start posting again! I would like to say it is because of great demand but the truth is... I need to write here... I think it might be cathartic for me. I started a job on August 8th and after about 3 weeks I was already tired, stressed and a little jaded! Sure acute care is intense and fast and you need to know a lot about medicine... I like that part... the hard part is the sick people. (pause for sarcastic comments about working in a hospital) I don't easily brush off other people's pain and suddenly I am surrounded by lots of pain! As a student I really struggled with the physical pain... patients yelling or crying because it just hurt so bad. My heart would drop a little each time. But now I am struggling with the emotional and mental pain. Years of family pain brought to the surface by an aging parent who is no longer safe at home. Anxiety of being in a new place with a different language where you either can't hear or you can't understand. And now that I am an OTR/L, it is my responsibility to recommend where I believe in my expert opinion a patient should go. Anyway I need to find the gold nuggets. The bits of my job that remind me why I went to school and why OT is such a good fit for me. I like to think I am compassionate. I acknowledge that I will become jaded by the system and angry at it's injustices and frustrated by my inability to do anything about them. But I don't want to become jaded toward patients or to what I am doing. I don't want to blow off my job or my patients because I can't handle the pain... but I sure can't ignore the pain. And I am an extrovert so talking/typing is helpful in processing. I think that some days the pieces of good will be easy to see... like yesterday when a patient told me that I had a great personality for what I was doing and how she liked me and thought we could be friends in different circumstances. How delightful to be that kind of encouragement to someone in the 30 minutes I have with them. And the very next patient was comfortable enough to ask how he was going to wipe his butt with hip precautions! Last night I was thinking if I could just do the orthopedic case load everyday I would have more obvious moments like these.But today I think differently. I had to evaluate a little old white haired lady. This is not unusual since about half of my patients fit this criteria! But this lady had an old stroke and the left side of her body was contracted. She was on a stretcher looking lost, confused and afraid, her only ability to communicate was with her eyes and face. I was one of four people who transferred her back to her bed and it took two of us to sit her on the edge of the bed and one of us to keep her sitting up. At one point during the beginning of the process I just went to her side and held her hand and introduced myself. When our eyes locked, she had a flash of recognition, and I thought "she thinks she knows me". I started thinking... do I look like someone in her family? or one of her care takers? this could be my mom in 20 years... this could be me in 50 years... alone in a sterile place where strangers are pushing and pulling and demanding. Several times during the assessment I found myself holding her hand and she continued to look at me like she knew me. and I swear that when I spoke to her a little fear left her eyes. It wasn't until I was writing her note that I realized I had seen her before and assessed her... could she have possible recognized me from when I saw her last month? Could it possibly be that in her limited awareness she looked into my eyes and her soul said "we could have been friends in different circumstances"

Volunteer Activites/Duties

2010-06-28T23:46:00.006-04:00

1. Nurture the kids
2. Teach the less disabled kids simple games and arts
3. Assist in home visits
4. Give attention to disabled kids
5. Assist taking care of the kids by help with cleaning, food
preparation for the kids, taking the kids to rehabilitation
centers when needed etc
6. Offer a chance of conversational English to the mamas and the care givers

These are my listed duties as a volunteer. I am SO EXCITED that I will be working with kids with disabilities and their families!! Delighted to put a year of theory and book learning into practice. Grateful to be a part of tearing down the stereotypes that keep these kids from the resources they need. And honestly... just thrilled that I will be able to lavish love on children!

Below are the details of my assignment if you desire to read them :)

Your Volunteer Placement

Building a Caring Community
Organization for Community Development

General Information
Mission and Needs of the Partner Program

The Building a Caring Community project began in Moshi, Tanzania in October 2007. This is the first IMPACT project that was developed with Lutheran partner: the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Tanzania, Northern Diocese.
The project was designed to provide much-needed services to children with disabilities and their families through the creation of neighborhood centers and in-home support services. By opening the neighborhood centers, mothers, aunts, and other caregivers are now able to have a safe and nurturing setting where their children can go while they work and earn money for food, shelter and other basic needs. Services are provided at no cost to the caregivers so they may use their earnings to fully support the health and well-being of their children.

Volunteer Activities / Duties
Nurture the kids
Teach the less disabled kids simple games and arts Assist in home visits
Give attention to disabled kids
Assist taking care of the kids by help with cleaning, food preparation for the kids, taking the kids to rehabilitation centers when needed etc
Offer a chance of conversational English to the mamas and the care givers

Goals for the Volunteer from the Partner Program
One key aspect of the project is that it empowers women by providing training and employment opportunities for three divergent groups identified by the Northern Diocese. These three groups include mothers of children with disabilities, widows, and elderly persons who were often unemployed or not able to make a living wage doing limited farm work, bartering goods/services, etc. prior to receiving supports through this project.
The Building a Caring Community project also has impacted the community at large by confronting stereotypes of individuals with disabilities through project and parish outreach. Educational presentations and discussions have occurred throughout the diocese with positive results. As a result, volunteers have emerged to work in the centers -- a positive and unanticipated benefit.
The kids learn different life skills: taking care of their personal needs and how to read and write. While at the Center, they receive targeted therapies, enjoy nourishing meals, and have a safe environment. The project staffs also provide in-home supports for the family. These services have greatly enhanced the family's quality of life.

Off to Africa!!!

2010-06-27T19:57:00.002-04:00

As many of you know I am flying to Africa on Thursday :) I will be there for 3 1/2 weeks and I hope to get some time to blog and email while I am there!

Thanks to all of you who have helped me get to Africa!!!!

Brain Fatigue?

2009-07-21T17:00:00.003-04:00

After only 7.5 weeks of school I am suffering from what i like to call brain fatigue... getting my brain to work for more than 10 minutes on something other than anatomy seems nearly impossible. i find myself forgetting fairly important things like what day of the week it happens to be, yet remembering things like cranial nerve 5 is the trigeminal nerve arising from the pons and receives sensation from the face as well as control the muscles of mastication...

I am also socially fatigued. It takes between 30 seconds and 4 minutes to become thoroughly annoyed with certain classmates. I know, i know I am going to be with these people for another 2 years but really I think that more than anything I am just tired of this specific routine of life. I am sure after a couple of weeks away from my classmates I will miss them and be ready to start up again... but once I start again for Fall on August 31st... I will go pretty much non-stop until the end of June 2010. Living the dream... living the dream...

Upside... got an A+ in my Foundations class!! very exciting but really? Master's level class and they give out A+s? interesting, no?

Unbelievable

2009-07-02T14:52:00.002-04:00

I took our second anatomy exams today. Practical at 8:30 AM. 5 cadavers, 3 to 4 stations at each body, 2 questions at each station and 90 seconds to answer. Followed by a lightning round where you get 10 seconds review at each station. I did feel like I had done and then later Cortney and I saw Chris at Caribou Coffee. He was grading and he let us know our grades. I got 3 wrong and 3 extra credit so I got 100%!!!!!

I danced a little :)

Strong Work

2009-07-01T15:53:00.005-04:00

Chris Bise is the anatomy instructor. Pretty sure he is an ENTP and his highest praise is "Strong Work". Today I got my first one!! Standing in lab over Maurice we were inspecting the common interosseous artery and the AIN when I noticed another artery hanging out. I asked, "Chris, is this the anterior interosseous artery?" He looked up from his disection and said, "Yes! Strong Work!!" I then dance a little jig and four people asked me to show them what I saw. Now if I can just get a good grade on this exam tomorrow I will dance another jig :)

One Less Thing

2009-06-30T16:12:00.003-04:00

Today I took (AND PASSED) my medical terminology exam. To think that a mere 5 weeks ago this silly exam was one of the bigger unknown stresses in my life. But as I walked to Alumni Hall to take the exam I was thinking of it as a break for my brain. Who am I that taking a 50 question test is a "break" from the now normal thinking of my brain. good times and one less thing I have to do.

The other test I got back today I was 1/2 a point from an A-... was supposed to have "preparatory" and put "prepatory"... when will someone invent spell check for my head!!

2009-06-29T21:20:00.002-04:00

Today in class I taught everyone how to make an origami crane. Out of 50 people I was the only one who could manage to make it from some really bad directions. I was sitting there thinking back to 3-5 grades when I made a ridiculous number of origami things and it came back to me after some good problem solving skills. I want to give a shout out to Andy from my grade school as I think he was the one who got our whole class started on the origami.

After I sat down I heard someone say behind me that I was really smart. I have to confess I was shocked! Even now I think maybe they were talking about someone else. Perhaps I have finally found a place where my "jack of trades but master of none" will help me instead of hinder me.

Back to Blogging

2009-06-29T21:10:00.002-04:00

I am back... I was gone for a while but now life is ridiculously exciting. Nothing like living with no margins, stress that causes you to forget your middle name, and classes that cause you to wake up with "sustentaculum tali" in your head.

For those of you who don't know I moved to Pittsburgh to work for two years and then go to school for two and at the end be an occupational therapist. What I didn't know (but I am sure I was told) was that working 9-5 was great (especially now that it is over for the time being) and that school is consuming and lonely. And yet I am living the dream that I have had for a couple years and in some ways much longer... just didn't know it was going to go this exact direction. That doesn't change the fact that while I am not depressed I have cried more in the last month than I did in the year prior to that.

It's all good. I am living the dream.

Kara/OTS

Today I Love My Students

2009-01-16T11:23:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't written in a long time! But today I love my students. I am going on vacation next week and so I emailed all of them to let them know. Immediately I received several emails from students that I have worked hard to build relationships with telling me to go and have a great time! I was delighted and unexpected joy bubbled up inside me.

I actually like my students. For the first time since I started this job over a year ago I can actually say I love my students. It surprised me.... and made me a little happy.

GAS LEAK AT THE MORGUE

2008-09-11T09:11:00.004-04:00

So yesterday we were all ushered outside because there was a gas leak next door. Now we are in a building that is actually three buildings because it is two blocks long. So at 1600 they are building the new morgue, in 1500 is part of my company and 1400 is where I am. So they evacuated all of us. We stood outside right across from the building for about an hour. I didn't, of course, because I went for a walk and talked on the phone. Anyway it was all very exciting and it was a beautiful day outside so that was nice. But we were all just a little concerned that they sent us back in and didn't just send us home... I mean GAS LEAK!

Being the positive person that I am, I told everyone when we came back in that if 1600 blew up we would just be just slightly hurt being practically on the opposite side of the building :)

Today the gas is turned off so we are all freezing.

This place will kill me yet!

300 days

2008-08-04T11:06:00.002-04:00

Yes that is how long I have left until I hope to start school. I had gotten away from a countdown during the month of July because I was so ridiculously busy. Today I learned that the person who should have been back actually has until the end of August to come back. So suddenly the huge weight of stress I have been carrying is not going away like I thought. I am currently in shock. I don't know what to do. I could cry but I don't think that will help at all so that leaves me with how do I work well in these overwhelming circumstances that feel like they will never end. Well I might cry anyway just to release some of my anger, frustration and other random unidentified emotions.

Okay. Time to figure out a plan to survive this job.

F I R E D

2008-07-25T13:20:00.002-04:00

The biggest stress in my life over the last two weeks has been one of my co-workers... I was thrust into a partner work relationship when I was assigned half of the students in his program. To say the least this guy was the bane of my life for two weeks... everyday was a conflict and usually me telling him the same things over and over again. By the time I finished the day I was ready to strangle someone...

Well today he walked. Official word is that he resigned... but he might have been fired. Overall I don't really care I am actually happy that he is gone... and now I feel guilty for thinking that. My stress level has decreased drastically.

Bored Now

2008-07-25T10:57:00.004-04:00

Please don't think that I am complaining... I have had non-stop workingness for the last month and today is the first day that I am not trying to just keep my head above water. It has been so long that I forgot how to waste time. Thankfully I made some notes to help me... websites about filling the void and the like. Currently I am seeing if I can hold my pee until bladder explosion... however if time begins to move exceptionally slow because I am waiting to see yellow then I will abandon the experiment.

This picture is one of my student's work. A wedding cake. We talked for almost an hour yesterday. Yes the week 2 slow down started at about 3pm yesterday so I just let this student talk and talk and talk while I played on the internet. I think wrote up three different scheduling options for her to fill a little bit more time.

I know it won't last as I am sure that I will have a ton more to do by Monday... but for today I will enjoy my boredom.

two posts in one day don't get used to it

2008-07-24T12:59:00.002-04:00

So I was writing an email and listening to a tv show while munching on PB M&Ms when I dropped one on the floor. I look to see that it landed fairly close to my feet so I rolled my chair back a little bit to bend down to get it.

This is where the fun begins. As I lean forward my butt slides off the chair... my butt flies to the ground and the chair flies out of my cube. I look around and no one has noticed even though the chair has slammed into a pole behind me. I am dying inside because I want to laugh about it but who do I tell... all my buddies are gone to lunch. Also... I have found a fantastic weapon!!

Sounds of the Office

2008-07-24T11:09:00.002-04:00

As I sit here drinking my cup of coffee (and by 'cup' here I mean my third or forth with at least one or two more still to come) I find myself amused by the sounds I am hearing. There is definitely an ebb and flow of loudness... right now the tapping of keyboards sound like crickets on a quiet evening. There is also the low murmuring of people talking on phones all over the place and the occasional phone ring can be startling (especially if there is someone who hasn't figured out how to turn the volume down yet!) Then suddenly there is a loud laugh and 20 people on the phone at the same time talking, coworkers pause in the isles to chat with each other about something outside of work and the printer starts printing a 400 page report. The wave of noise crashes on the shore and as it pulls back you can hear just the tittering of keyboards once again.

Summer Holiday?

2008-07-22T15:40:00.002-04:00

So our database crashed today while I was on lunch. Shortly after that the phones went out. Suddenly we find ourselves trying to work a little on the blind side. A snow day in July. Of course I took the opportunity to research jobs overseas. While working in Pittsburgh has been very enlightening and a growing experience... I am beginning to yearn for something else and something different. There is a high school math position open in Morocco this fall and let me tell you how incredibly tempting that is... I mean look at that picture Well I think my mother would kill me if I left before Thanksgiving so maybe January...

Happy Anniversary!!

2008-07-17T12:11:00.002-04:00

One year ago today I walked into this building for the first time. At like 7:30 in the morning... only Kevin was here to greet me...

Overall it has been an okay year. I would say that about half the time I have been here I have been unhappy or so lost in a huge load of work I had no emotion.

I hope that I will not see anniversary #2.

In LOVE with the bus driver

2008-07-10T08:20:00.002-04:00

Let's just start by saying that I did not sleep in today because I wanted to make sure to ride his bus. wow that sounds a little wrong. but seriously it has been a rough couple of weeks back in Pgh and this one man's remembering me and where I get off while being cheerful and funny has made my whole week. I did almost cry this morning telling someone about him... and of course the woman I was talking to wanted to know if I would date him. This has been one of those weeks where being appreciated means being invisible and being given more work. I don't respond well to those kinds of appreciation. So it is nice when the man who takes me to and from work actually sees me!

Return Flight

2008-06-30T11:48:00.004-04:00

Today is my first day back after 2 weeks of vacation. It is not quite as brutal as I thought it might be... except that it is noon and I am ready to be done for the day. There were 255 emails with 65 of them needing response. I have managed to sort through all 255 and responded to 10... did I mention it is only noon.

I only have 3 voice mails... which is good because I do not feel the need to actually talk to people.... students included :)

I am feeling like a beer right now is a good idea and might actually make me work better!

The other thing that is making today tolerable is that if all goes well (aka I get accepted into the OT program at Pitt) I will only be working here another 11 months. The countdown has begun!

Careful what you wish for...

2008-06-12T16:26:00.003-04:00

Today is my 'late' night. I come in at 10ish and leave at 7ish instead of my normal 8-5. Part of what I like about late night is people go home starting at 5 and by 6 it is me and my computer and phone having a quiet evening. Sometimes people don't leave and it is true that the one person I cannot stand also sometimes stays until 7ish on Thursday nights and that can get my panties in a bunch.

Today I was thinking on the bus.... I just want a quiet evening to get my stuff together before I go on vacation. My panties are already in a bunch I need a wedgie night. (poor choice of illustration but I am not going back!)

WELL. I got here and 6 cubes near me are empty... let me draw a picture to illustrate...

after much work the drawing did not work... Just think the person nearest me in my department is 10 feet away with her back to me. Not conducive for conversation.

Ok I am going to call a talkative student now...

Bus Buddy with the Boat Hat (also longest post ever)

2008-06-11T08:31:00.008-04:00

As the number of people who work here continues to grow at the rate of some bacteria it is not overly exciting that there should be people on my bus that get off at my stop... and also work at my place.

For several weeks I rode the bus with this guy. He would get on in Bloomfield and we would ride the rest of the way together and get off together and walk in the back door together and then I would go in my door and he would continue upstairs. I began to take notes on him to see if I could guess where he worked in the building. He has grayish hair and often wears a boat hat and ear phones. He carries a backpack and has dark, thick rimmed glasses. I came to the almost immediate conclusion he was not an ADA but definitely worked for AiO. He wasn't slick enough to work for South and he didn't work downstairs so not Argosy. I knew he wasn't an IT guy as I knew most of them (oh I need to write about my laptop and the button incident). That really left HR, Web design, curriculum, financial aid and registration. Of course there was always secret option #6 which is there are actually random jobs here that I don't know about!

I tried to enter act without actually introducing myself as that would ruin the game. But even when I said "Good Morning" "Happy Friday" and "Have a good day" he said nothing. So where could a mute person work here.... well any of the non student facing jobs. That takes out financial and probably HR. Also I knew most of the HR people from my administrative days.

Then one day I was going to a meeting on the other side of the world (quite literally it is at least a block away and the address of the meeting room is different than mine.) AND I SAW HIM!!!

He was interacting with people like a normal guy and he was up in the registration realm. (A place that I don't often go as it is unpredictable and a little dangerous) haHA mystery man occupation solved... he is one of the numerous nameless, faceless registration peoples.

THEN the most ridiculous thing happened yesterday! I was not so randomly placed in yet another meeting that had to do with calculating graduation dates for our students. A few AiO advisors, a couple South Advisors, AiO lead advisors, main registration lady and MYSTERY MAN. I about peed my pants!

Not only that but his name is Bill and I currently have 43 emails in my inbox from him. I have had numerous email conversations with him about various graduating students.

So when he got on the bus this morning I got this huge smile on my face. When I got up to leave the bus he was standing right next to my seat. He totally made eye contact (first time) and as we walked in (our old comfortable routine) I said, "Have a good day." and he said,
"You too."

No Idea

2008-06-04T14:23:00.004-04:00

So I haven't written in a really long time and so I choose to write. Except that I don't actually have anything to say... or do I?

New things about work:
I finally got a laptop... YAY I can work from home! wait is that good?
I now have two small jade plants to brighten my work space
I have moved cubicles 4 times since my last posting... moving is no longer traumatizing
I still get a little homesick when I walk past my first cube #130
I now bring my own coffee to work

Merry Christmas Presents

2007-12-26T10:42:00.001-05:00

So here it is December 26th and I am at work. I am not feeling terribly well. Probably sick because I have been pushing myself so hard. So in I walk to work... which is mostly dead and what did I find but what appeared to be seasons greetings from several of my students. Thankfully I have learned enough in this job to be suspicious. Instantly I highly doubted that students might actually like me or even know who I am.

So I passed right over those little postcards... which turned out to be little viruses! I would love to go with my techno savvy intuition on this one... but I think it might just be my post-Nog laden brain to praise for not opening those New Year wishes and destroying my computer :)

Merry Christmas!

Festive Holiday

2007-12-21T10:24:00.000-05:00

Today I walked up and down the strip trying to find a secret Santa gift last minute. Of course, I was walking with someone else because I had opted out of gifting to avoid the hectic "find a gift" day before the last day of work before Christmas... or in this case the morning of. So we missed an hour of work to pull it off. Oh well :) It has been nice over the last few days to have various Christmas Cards join my lights and snowflake garland. And today the general atmosphere is fun and there is loads of sugar floating around.

So Merry first Christmas in the office to me!

My Phantom Phone

2007-12-20T15:27:00.000-05:00

I swear my phone only rings when I am looking right at it. I look at my computer... just for a second and then when I look back... RED LIGHT on for voice mail.

So it is totally not my fault that I sit here staring at my phone for hours on end.

Work is infecting my COFFEE

2007-12-19T11:06:00.000-05:00

I have been noticing slowly over time. Little by little my French press coffee is tasting nastier and nastier. Coffee I brew at home tastes fine. But here not so good. It must be the water. I mean the coffee they brew here is right over the I-am-going-to-sue-for-the-sake-of-my-taste-buds and that is why I started brewing my own.

SO action steps. Get a thermos and carry my own coffee to work everyday. It is a minor sacrifice to have good tasting coffee.

Am I getting old?

2007-12-18T11:49:00.000-05:00

Don't answer that! I swear though... I sleep one night on a air mattress, spend one road trip in the car and now I will spend a week recovering. At least I have a souvenir of sorts... every time my back complains a bit I will remember that I had a fun weekend.

I could just be fat.

Stupid Numbers

2007-12-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

So I was trying to figure out why life was so difficult yesterday and I realized one of the reasons is that with all the numbers I am working with the computer and phone hate each other! The phone lays out its numbers 1 2 3 on the top (see below) and the computer lays it out 1 2 3 on the bottom (see left). Personally I think this is like when you move things just slightly in someone's room... just enough to make them go crazy!

Noisy Apple Eater

2007-12-04T11:41:00.000-05:00

Am I one of those people? The noisy apple eaters? I very much am!! But it is just that you take a bite and it is all juicy and you have to suck the juice before it drips onto your desk. I mean at least I don't suck the apple juice off my desk. I do use a napkin for that. But a crispy, juicy apple is a loud food to eat. There is just no way around that!
I will just be "that" girl at work

Crunch!!! SSSSsssschhhhuuuuuuuuuuuppppppp!

Ssschup Smack.

munch munch munch

CRUNCH!!! Ssssssssccchhhhhuuuuuuuuppp

Ahhhhhh

CampusVue

2007-11-28T07:32:00.000-05:00

Today I will attend a training for a program that has been talked about since I arrived here. It will solve all of our communication problems. It will release us from the bonds of DOS. It will make the sun shine more often and will give us back parts of our souls that have been taken by repetitive searches. It will make music suddenly play whenever we do something good. It will produce a hologram of our boss shaking a finger at us when we do something bad. It is Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Harry Potter, Willy Wonka, a genie and your Fairy Godmother all wrapped up in one single windows-based program.

And it takes 8 uninterrupted hours to learn how to use it.

Blah!

Death of the first Highlighter

2007-11-15T09:20:00.000-05:00

In the last three days I have audited 200 schedules. In other words I went through all of the classes they have taken and had transferred and colored in the ones they have taken.

In yellow.

As I neared the last 15 or so I began to notice my yellow highlighter was giving out on me. I started doing all the things you do to keep it going... push harder... shake it... speak softly to it... YELL... hold it upside down.

Somehow the little highlighter that could made it through the 200 students and I think now that I should frame it and hang it in my cube. The first of many future sacrifices... unless we go to CampusVue.

How did your parents name you?

2007-11-14T10:37:00.000-05:00

One of the joys of working with people is you see names and wonder what parents were thinking naming their children.

Here is a sampling of the last few months:

Sunshine Flower

Adam Quackenbush

Shasta Orange

Nichole Money

Cherie Martini

Jack Daniels

Ways your office can make you think you are going insane!

2007-11-02T09:30:00.000-04:00

Okay first of all this is not a hard task. true. however, when they do subtle things like move the toilet paper dispenser in your favorite stall from the left side to the right side. that is just mean!

Marvin

2007-11-01T10:11:00.000-04:00

When I first started to work here I found a picture of a little boy and his dog. No one knew who he was or who the picture belonged to. So I adopted him and named him Marvin. He's a great kid and his dog is really no fuss at all. I have continually made up stories about him... right now he is my son who ran away. Although according to some here I apparently lost him. If you have a good story I would be more than happy to tell at least one person that story about me and my Marvin!

The VP loves me

2007-09-13T13:02:00.000-04:00

Okay so I have calmed down a bit since the last post. I realized that with my whole life in transition, this one little move at work blew me away! But I am better now. Life is settling in down here and I am becoming more visible. I go upstairs once or twice a day to say hi and smile and make copies (I made about 3000 copies yesterday) and that is good for my soul.

Today I got an email from one of my new co-workers in response to an eppology (appology via email)

No need to be sorry. I think, and so do a lot of people, including Kate (VP) who recommended you, that you are doing a FABULOUS job down here. If, I should say when, we hit our numbers, a lot of credit is going to be given to you!

I am finding that "thankless jobs" are really not so good for me. This short email will carry me through another two weeks of hard work as we approach the start of classes. Of course, besides the thanks, I just want a job!

ahhhh DOS

2007-08-31T09:55:00.000-04:00

So half way thru the day yesterday I discovered by accident that really all I need to do for my new responsibility is:

123456
F1
Control-u
p
Control-o
cmg
F1
F1

New Number
Repeat

It goes a lot faster now!

New Responsibility

2007-08-30T08:13:00.000-04:00

1234567

Control-U

Control-O

CMG

Hit return Twice

Down arrow 1-3 times

08292007

hit F1 twice

1234568

control-U

control-O

cmg

Hit return twice

down arrow 1-3 times

08292007

F1 twice

repeat

PB&J

2007-08-29T13:43:00.000-04:00

I am the queen of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!! Since I have started working here I have pretty much had a sandwich for every lunch. I LOVE THEM! Every Thursday is "extra jelly" day. I was feeling bad for Thursday... so forgotten. Monday is well... Monday and Tuesday is recover from Monday. Wednesday is the neutral day, loved because it is not Monday and hated because it is not Friday. Friday is well... Friday. But poor Thursday. All that it usually gets is a groaning, "Why are you not Friday?". So I have decided to honor the next to best day of the work week by giving it extra jelly. My mouth is happier on Thursdays and I think that is the way it should be!

Examination

2007-08-27T13:42:00.000-04:00

Watching students take an exam is like watching snails race.
At first you are excited. This could be an amazing race. I could win some money.
Then after 15 minutes your cheers lessen and you stop watching.
You lay down with your foot at the finish line thinking, "I will take a nap and the first one will wake me up."
You are suprised by first place primarily because you feel so well rested. However you bet on last place and so now you watch to see who will be last.
So you quietly cheer them on, hoping that they will actually finish and that you won't die here of old age.

New Friends

2007-08-20T09:33:00.000-04:00

In the last week there has been quite a bit of movement in the cubicles. The training department said good-bye to one of the women who sits in our isle and hello to three others who moved into our isle. At first I was a little sad because our group is a bit secluded where we are and it gives a sense of privacy. But I am over that now. The man who used to sit on the other side of the wall now sits at the end of my isle, which means I walk past him at least 30 times every day. The new man across the wall is Jerry. I met him today and I confess that I have been wanting too... primarily because he is more my age and he is bald. Yes it is true I like bald guys. He is very nice and was eager to talk to me :)
I also met Bill today. Bill is a little slow but very friendly and my heart hurt for him a bit the moment I met him. This is not an easy place to work... kindness and common decency are often in short supply. He was over where the sharks are today and I am not sure anyone other than me was kind to him. I will be fiercely protective if teasing begins near my cubicle!

Updates: Life in the slow cubicle

2007-08-20T08:30:00.000-04:00

Well I haven't written for a while because there has been a bit of drama here! On Friday the 10th, the big boss was dismissed. The VP who was directly over the trainers that I work with came in that morning, left that noon and hasn't been seen since. I swear that day someone darkened the lights a little, the white noise fans were dulled and a hush fell across the office. Not because many would miss the man but because many wondered who would be next. That was the first Friday that work seriously happened. There was not much laughing that day. Also I did something that was possibly illegal.

On Wednesday the 15th I worked a half day so that I could hang with Dallas and Kristin and be loved by their beautiful daughters.

On Thursday the 16th, an angel appeared. As we sat in a small room catching our interim boss up on the last year of poor management, wrong direction, and too much responsibility AND suddenly light shown out from all around her and she began to speak words that brought hope and life. We walked out of that meeting a little bit in love with the new boss lady!

Today as we start a second week under this new leadership there are smiles and joy and many balloons!!!

Life in the Rain

2007-08-09T08:49:00.000-04:00

I contemplated my life this morning as I stood in the thunderstorm. I was at the edge of an empty lot with a 8 foot tall metal post behind me that read, "BUS STOP" at the top. The lightening was close and I wondered if it made any difference how far I stood from the lightening rod were it to be struck suddenly. Probably not... either way I would get hurt. What a crazy way to go! Standing in the rain at a bus stop.

I lived to get on the bus and off it again.

As I walked to 1400 Penn Ave, I carefully stepped over puddles. I felt the least humid that I have all week. I heard it coming from behind me. A car. Driving close to the side of the road where a small river was rushing madly downhill. I was already 6 feet from the road. I heard the acceleration and knew that I was made. I took two quick steps toward the building just as the car flew past. The wall of water just barely touched me... getting my right shoulder as I turned my hips away so that it missed my legs and feet.

Yes. I still like riding the bus.

Crushed Flower

2007-08-08T09:28:00.000-04:00

If you have ever seen Joe vs. the Volcano you may already know the scene that I am talking about. The first time I saw the movie the only scene I remembered was when that foot came crushing down on the beautiful, courageous flower. I was traumatized! For as long as I can remember back into my childhood I have had a deep appreciation for flowers growing auspiciously in harsh conditions.

Yesterday and today I have had glimpses of how this place is like that place where Joe worked. A tiny bit of fear has worked it's way into my excitement as I see the bottom of the foot hovering over me.

Will I be crushed or will I continue to bring a small piece of light in this dark place?

Reassuring Words

2007-08-07T12:05:00.001-04:00

Today I stopped by to chat with Margie about a growing problem concerning room reservations and the Facilities people. I was a little concerned because I thought maybe I had sparked the conversation. I wasn't and she told me to not feel guilty by association! As we were problem solving and trying to figure out how we could herd the cats, someone else stepped up to ask Margie a question.

"She did a pretty good job of filling in for you, Margie."

"Yes she did. We are going to keep her. If she thinks she can get away from here she is wrong. The good ones are few and she is good. So she is stuck with us!"

It's not a salary or benefits but Margie does bend the ear of the man who could hire me.

The Man in Cubicle # 104

2007-08-06T17:38:00.000-04:00

The man in 104 is a nice guy but I have no idea who he is. He sits right on the corner where I either turn right to go to the printer or left to the copier, training cabinets, training rooms and restrooms. Once in a while I say hello but to say it everytime I went by would be overkill for certain. It is about 27 paces from my cube to his.

Carrots

2007-08-06T14:33:00.001-04:00

Carrots are the perfect office snack food. They are not messy. You can munch on them and not worry about getting crumbs in your keyoard. Unless of course you have the ability to projectile spit your food while chewing. They take a long time to chew so you don't eat as much. Although I think I have eaten over a pound of carrots this past week. Carrots are crunchy so you can drown out other office noises by eating them.

The only downside I can see is that they might attract bunnies... and that is scary.

Things I Learn at Work

2007-08-02T16:16:00.000-04:00

Stress Management

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals.

The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

See? It really does work . You're smiling already.

My Frequent Destinations

2007-07-31T15:38:00.000-04:00

The copier.

I take 57-60 steps from my desk to the copier. Sometimes you have to take side steps so that you don't run head on into someone. The walkways and hallways here are just small enough that two people walking side-by-side or passing each other are just a little uncomfortable.

The printer.

37-40 paces if I make it there on the first try. For some reason the printer is always the hardest for me to remember where it is. I think because it is the closest and easiest to find and after getting lost every time I left my desk the first day I always set myself up to be walking for a while and then I just walk right by it. Or I go to the copier because I love the copier.

The Trainer Cabinets

90 steps. This is the place where I spent a lot of time day one! My people didn't know what to do with me yet and so I organized this deal. Then 5 hours later the order came in and I orgainized it again.

Margie's Desk

77 paces. Margie is the most wonderful person here. I am currently taking over for her while she goes on vacation. I sat in her cube the other day and had a great chat about working here and what position I might be able to get.

The Bathroom

57 steps to my favorite stall. Don't laugh. You know you have one too.

Cafe #2

120 steps to the vending machines and the water/ice machine.

77D, 77F, 77G

2007-07-30T19:50:00.001-04:00

Growing up my only experience with the bus was getting stranded somewhere at a bus stop and having to wait for one of my brother's friend's mom to come and get us.
But my Pittsburgh experience of riding the bus to and from work everyday has been glorious! Apparently it is unusual to experience what I have come to call "The Bus Ride High" while riding on public transportation. I have noticed that while I am purely delighted to be riding the bus usually only those under the age of 6 join in my excitement. In fact, on the bus there is a strange "elevator" quiet... the strain of standing much to close to strangers.
As I continue to be consistent in the buses I catch, I begin to see the same people over and over again. Then the silence isn't so much strained as it is familiar. Suddenly there is unheard conversation floating around the bus. As a hospital worker dozes after what was probably an all night shift, grace is given as her head gently knocks against her neighbors shoulder. A slight smile, a look of recognition and the bus driver's always pleasant, "Have a nice day." are much more soothing than any elevator music could ever be.
The other thing I love about riding the bus is that every morning, if I can get a good seat, I get a clear view of the city skyline. My heart still does that little leap of joy whenever I see it and I wonder what silent conversations are going on about me as I suddenly smile at the sight.

Work-Related Injuries

2007-07-27T12:23:00.000-04:00

Blisters on my heels
Blisters on my heels
Strained shin muscles
Near collisions hurt my confidence
Paper cuts of course (although my worst paper cut came from a Blockbuster envelope)
Addiction to Friday
Cardboard cuts

First Paycheck

2007-07-26T20:29:00.001-04:00

Isn't this hysterical? That is an actual sticker on my pay stub! I don't know who put it there but I love that person!! What a fantastic idea. It brought a smile to my face and I think that a warm fuzzy was born somewhere. Well done check person! I might even say "Terrific!"

The Foot Canundrum

2007-07-26T11:04:00.000-04:00

Feet were never meant to wear shoes. In the Garden of Eden the man and the woman were not ashamed of their naked feet. But in this fallen work place dress code curses cause us to wear the restricting pieces of leather and plastic that make sharp sounds as we walk on the hard floors.

For me it is especially painful. I have been blessed with skin that easily bruises and blisters. Also one of my feet is slightly larger than the other. So daily I am faced with choices regarding footwear.

Do I let my right foot be comfortable whilst my left foot suffers blisters?
Do I sooth my left foot whilst my right foot loses circulation?
Do I wear the brown sandals that are actually a little small but look nice?
Do I wear the slightly too large black sandal heels that make everybody happy but increase the risk of sudden horizontal posture?

Fatalities in the Work Place

2007-07-26T09:25:00.000-04:00

It was my fault. I didn't know that it would turn out like this. Still I am saddened by the death of my pinkie ring.
I was sitting sideways in my office chair... just to be sitting a different way. When I turned back to face the chair forward my pinkie finger on my left hand got caught between the desk and the arm of my chair. The ring with no thought of itself sacrificed so that my finger would be saved from terrific damage. And so the tiny fake jewel was torn from the ring giving me enough time to shift my weight and keep all my work related injuries to my feet.

Thank you pinkie ring. I will always remember the times we had together. I will never forget your great, selfless sacrifice. I will hold you in my heart always.

# 130

2007-07-25T16:11:00.000-04:00

My little cubicle... which I have since realized is the "cube". It is number 130. I sit one cube away from a red wall...a warm red. It is the former Director's cube and he was let go. I have a standing file and a calander and a couple pictures. OH! and a phone with an extension. That's my little 130... maybe if I stay here full time then I will name and decorate some more.